Blank Space

-SA 8.21 2:28a-drew-

remember when this used to be a web site? yeah, we don't really either.

______________________________________________

-TH 7.1 12:21a-drew-

there is a band. they're good. buy their cd. first read the review. much love. much love. it is time to start slapping people.

______________________________________________

-M 6.7 12:07a-drew-

new feature. go summer. go gran turismo. go new feature. go saved by the bell. its a summer orgy basicly. see me. touch me. love me. click here. standings=coming soon. you=loving it. badabababa. i'm lovin' it. ha, it's like i eat McDonalds and i'm black, er, ethnic...at the same time. seacrest out.

________________________________________________

-M 5.17 10:32p-drew-

We have more pop-up ads than Jake's mom now. damn tripod. That's a huge ass chicken nugget. After about June 4 the site's gonna get nuts. Working on assloads of new stuff. Also, we're gonna have new banners so you can link to us. Cause we are awesome. get on that damn message board. we're probably gonna get rid of the guestbook. guestbooks are for losers anyway... COMING UP: EXCLUSIVE FIRST REVIEW OF THE NEW SHAWS CD. that should be within the next week or so. say hi to El Axon. make him feel welcome. a link to his super sexy photo shoot will be up soon. and that's about it. isn't that how all these updates end? We make plans. We try. then we don't follow through. Forgive us. Love us. We just want to be loved. They're gonna give her a curb job. Not a blowjob, er, block party. Go eat a Chocotaco. don't die.

_________________________________________________

-T 5.11 10:52p-drew-

What We're Listenin To

Some of you might be wondering what we at Blank Space are listening to right now. We do this every now and then. We know good music. (for more information, see the list of bands we don't like [coming soon]).

Matthew Good - Pledge of Allegiance

Jeff Buckley - Grace

Billy Joel - My Life

Jet - Move On

Say Hi To Your Mom - Let's Talk About Spaceships

and the new song from Muse: Plug-In Baby

Don't download these songs illegally using Kazaalite ::wink wink::. don't die.

______________________________________________

-M 5.10 11:30p-drew-

Five months? Wow, we suck. We got this new guy named El Axon. He did a very sexy photo shoot. He's gonna be in sometime this week and he'll give you all that link. In the mean time, I put together this short history of Blank Space. There's going to be another redesign of the home page soon (if you remember, we had that color coded thing for a while, now we're going to start doing the updates slightly differently, gonna look nicer and be easier to read and update). Cable modem is still the best thing EVAR. In the mean time, I put together this short history of Blank Space that you might enjoy.

Blank Space was started in 1994. You know, just because. In 1998 a big investor gave us lots of money cause the Internet thing was hot. I bought a car. Max bought a house. Matt paid his P.E. teacher. We all bought lots of chicken wings and video games. 2001 came and the Internet bubble burst. We had already spent the 20 million dollars we had and we were forced to lay off our staff of 800 people. Also, I had to move back to my mom's basement in Tonopah, Nevada where I currently reside. Here we are. Its 2004. I'm almost 36. This site that once had 3 million viewers a day now has, well...you. and that guy in Phoenix who keeps e-Mailing us. NEVER EVER tell this to anyone, but we're super heroes.

Don't die.

______________________________________________

-W 1.8 8:21p-drew-

Wal-Mart is the greatest thing to happen to shopping ever. The Supercenter is more fun than Disneyland. Actually, you can buy Disneyland at the Supercenter. Also, you can buy lots of useless crap. Then give it as a gift. Recently, Wal-Mart gave us their top eight returned Christmas gifts.

8. Ted Kennedy's Sweatin' to the Oldies Workout Video

7. New York Jets playoff tickets

6. Nation of Islam Joke Book

5. Bag of live mice

4. Super Itchy Slippery Socks from Super Itchy Technologies, Hartford, Connecticut.

3. Dr. Kevorkian's Deluxe Automated Suicide Machine

2. Hickory Farms Cologne

1. Lick Me - The Board Game

Yeah people. Just buy a gift card. Don't die.

______________________________________________

-T 1.6 7:55pm-drew-

Great response already from that interview, so we'll have more stuff like that soon. Since ew love music, here's a list of the stuff we're listening to now...

The Darkness (greatest band of the past fifteen years)

The White Stripes (hey Triumph, STFU)

Matthew Good (hey Good Charlotte, here's some angst done right)

The Streets (English guy rapping? ::joygasm::)

Melt Banana (not so much music as much as it is noise that happens to sound like something good)

The Trews (we shouldn't like it...but its just soooo good)

That's all for today. Need to watch myself a new episode of the O.C. I mean, do something manly like fix a car. damn. Don't die.

______________________________________________

-M 1.5.04 10:11pm-drew-

Yeah, cable modem=greatest thing EVER. Max is having computer trouble. Must love that Windows ME. Working on new stuff, new layouts, making it easier to update (for more frequent updates? only time will tell [yes]). To kick this off,

THE EXCLUSIVE BLANK SPACE INTERVIEW WITH HILARY CLINTON

I promised. New stuff tomorrow. Don't die.

-W 12.24 7:31pm-drew-

Hello there. Friday=greatest day ever. Yours truly is getting a cable modem. That means updates are gonna finally start around here.

COMING SOON: BLANK SPACE'S EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH HILARY CLINTON.

You actually read that right. In the mean time, here's a short list of names other than Blank Space that we considered.

drew's Def Web Site Jamboree

Bonehead at Computer

Step One: Tell Jokes Step Two: ???? Step Three: Profit

The Stolen Intellectual Property Site

Senor Max's Fiesta del Cha-Cha

-F 10.24 11:56pm-Max-

Scott Baio, that cocksucker. Fascism died in 1945 assface and you go and bring it back. Consider this the first attack in my holy war. The first article on Scott Baio's shit is a well known story.

Back in California where my parents owned a perfume store, Joey Lawrence comes in and buys his usual Cool Water. We sell it to him. And Scott Baio never even came to our store. Strike one Scotty.

Scott Baio eats babies. Exclusive proof tomorrow! I'm not bullshitting with Mr Baio anymore. We need straight edge journalism to take him down.

-F 10.3 9:43pm-drew-

Coming Up in October

Everyone liked it last month so I'm gonna do it again. Here's some important stuff coming up.

*October is National Sarcasm Month. Yeah. Right.

*October is National Family Sexual Education Month. This is a year-round observance in Alabama.

*Also, October is Healthy Lung Month so get out there and excercise those lungs. At everyone.

*This weekend is the World Beer Festival in Durham, N.C.

*We wish our Jewish friends a happy Yom Kippur (the sixth).

*California's government problems may end October 7. Or they may be beginning. Either way, Gray Davis, you have been terminated. Yeah that cliche will never get old.

*Opal Financial Group's Fixed Income Institutional Capital and Investing Summit kicks off in D.C... wait... Small Firms Conference & Exhibit in Ft. Lauderdale...uhh...new episode of Law and Order on the eigth.

*Quentin Tarantino's new movie is out on the tenth. BS will have more about that later.

*The 12th of October begins National School Lunch Week. Celebrate at home by making Tuna-Peach Stroganoff Luau Surprise at home.

*Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to our Canadian friends on the 13. Also, we celebrate some guy discovering something in an ocean somewhere. I forget how it goes but I think there was a song about it.

*I have nothing to say about Holloween. Is that a trick or a treat? I'll let you decide.

Seriously, don't die.

-W 9.10 7:49pm-

A Message From The Pancake Institute of America

Fuck waffles.

-M 9.8 10:49pm-drew-

Most people don't realize it, but they actually only filmed 38 episodes of Dharma and Greg. The rest of the episodes were just put together using clips from previous episodes. Since the show was so stupid and made such little sense, no one really noticed. Don't die.

-S 9.6 7:34pm-drew-

Forrest Gump is a sad, depressing, slow story of a mentally retarded guy. Its the same cliche of the retarded guy always saying and doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Want to see a good Tom Hanks film? Saving Private Ryan, Philadelphia, Apollo 13 and Big are all better choices then this. (Although Big used that "child becomes an adult" cliche that Disney seems to love, its just so good.) Don't die.

-F 9.5 6:33pm-drew-

Never tell anyone they should feel a certain way. That's negativity and you should feel ashamed for it!!!

-T 9.2 2:25pm-drew-

September: Update Month at Blank Space but so much more...

Well its finally time for those fifty updates. This is number one. September is National Baby Safety Month and National Save The Tiger Month. Write letters to your local zoos if they still offer piggyback tiger rides. September is International Gay Square Dance Month. In celebration, The Village People will release their first country album, entitled Have You Heard the One About the Farmer's Son? Also, September is Be Kind to Writer's and Editor's Month. Be nice to us. We work hard. Sometimes. In addition, September is National Subliminal Advertising Month. I'll get back to writing as soon as I finish this delicious Pepsi Vanilla.

OK, that was very good. September 24 iS Guinea-Bissau Independence Day. Its also the date of The Dynamic Facilitation Skills Seminar in Washington. It also is someone's birthday...I just can't remember whose...Oh well. Don't die.

-S 8.16 1:40am-drew-

Not the worst thing to happen to music EVER...

Max and I have been talking and we seem to agree that Justin Timberlake is ok. No, he's not great but for a white boy he has some soul. We wouldn't buy his cd. We wouldn't even download his mp3s illegally. Maybe its just because we're comparing his stuff to NSYNC but I don't know. Later today we got lots of great stuff coming... super big random list of our likes and dislikes to replace the lists we got now and video game reviews from the new guy here, THE LORD. Don't die.

-F 8.8 4:43pm-drew-

I'm Al Sharpton. Welcome to Jackass.

Al Sharpton says his campaign being hurt by racism. I think being a jackass may have something to do with it.

-T 7.31 12:55pm-Max-

So 50 wheres a bullet proof vest. But cant you shoot his head? Or his leg...a lot? Or his crotch?

"Hey there's fitty! IMA CAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER!"
"No G I gots the bulletproof cloths."
"What's that on your head?"
"I ain't got nothing on my head"
BAM!

Q: Why did 50 Cent get shot?

A: I thought he was Tupac.

And just as a bonus...

Q: What has more brains then Kurt Cobain?
A: The wall behind him.

-T 7.31 12:52pm-drew-

I saw Dave Chappel on a late night rerun of America's Funniest People on TBS. He wasn't funny in 1993 either. Don't die.

-W 7.30 11:11pm-drew-

Now that Madonna is advertising for Gap they have a whole new line with three types of jeans: pleated, flat front and crotchless. Don't die.

-M 6.30 5:18am-Max-


		we were underground before it was cool. /pop culture/video games/politics/music/movies/



		-SA 8.21 2:28a-drew- remember when this used to be a web site? yeah, we don't really either. ______________________________________________ -TH 7.1 12:21a-drew- there is a band. they're good. buy their cd. first read the review. much love. much love. it is time to start slapping people. ______________________________________________ -M 6.7 12:07a-drew- new feature. go summer. go gran turismo. go new feature. go saved by the bell. its a summer orgy basicly. see me. touch me. love me. click here. standings=coming soon. you=loving it. badabababa. i'm lovin' it. ha, it's like i eat McDonalds and i'm black, er, ethnic...at the same time. seacrest out. ________________________________________________ -M 5.17 10:32p-drew- We have more pop-up ads than Jake's mom now. damn tripod. That's a huge ass chicken nugget. After about June 4 the site's gonna get nuts. Working on assloads of new stuff. Also, we're gonna have new banners so you can link to us. Cause we are awesome. get on that damn message board. we're probably gonna get rid of the guestbook. guestbooks are for losers anyway... COMING UP: EXCLUSIVE FIRST REVIEW OF THE NEW SHAWS CD. that should be within the next week or so. say hi to El Axon. make him feel welcome. a link to his super sexy photo shoot will be up soon. and that's about it. isn't that how all these updates end? We make plans. We try. then we don't follow through. Forgive us. Love us. We just want to be loved. They're gonna give her a curb job. Not a blowjob, er, block party. Go eat a Chocotaco. don't die. _________________________________________________ -T 5.11 10:52p-drew- What We're Listenin To Some of you might be wondering what we at Blank Space are listening to right now. We do this every now and then. We know good music. (for more information, see the list of bands we don't like [coming soon]). Matthew Good - Pledge of Allegiance Jeff Buckley - Grace Billy Joel - My Life Jet - Move On Say Hi To Your Mom - Let's Talk About Spaceships and the new song from Muse: Plug-In Baby Don't download these songs illegally using Kazaalite ::wink wink::. don't die. ______________________________________________ -M 5.10 11:30p-drew- Five months? Wow, we suck. We got this new guy named El Axon. He did a very sexy photo shoot. He's gonna be in sometime this week and he'll give you all that link. In the mean time, I put together this short history of Blank Space. There's going to be another redesign of the home page soon (if you remember, we had that color coded thing for a while, now we're going to start doing the updates slightly differently, gonna look nicer and be easier to read and update). Cable modem is still the best thing EVAR. In the mean time, I put together this short history of Blank Space that you might enjoy. Blank Space was started in 1994. You know, just because. In 1998 a big investor gave us lots of money cause the Internet thing was hot. I bought a car. Max bought a house. Matt paid his P.E. teacher. We all bought lots of chicken wings and video games. 2001 came and the Internet bubble burst. We had already spent the 20 million dollars we had and we were forced to lay off our staff of 800 people. Also, I had to move back to my mom's basement in Tonopah, Nevada where I currently reside. Here we are. Its 2004. I'm almost 36. This site that once had 3 million viewers a day now has, well...you. and that guy in Phoenix who keeps e-Mailing us. NEVER EVER tell this to anyone, but we're super heroes. Don't die. ______________________________________________ -W 1.8 8:21p-drew- Wal-Mart is the greatest thing to happen to shopping ever. The Supercenter is more fun than Disneyland. Actually, you can buy Disneyland at the Supercenter. Also, you can buy lots of useless crap. Then give it as a gift. Recently, Wal-Mart gave us their top eight returned Christmas gifts. 8. Ted Kennedy's Sweatin' to the Oldies Workout Video 7. New York Jets playoff tickets 6. Nation of Islam Joke Book 5. Bag of live mice 4. Super Itchy Slippery Socks from Super Itchy Technologies, Hartford, Connecticut. 3. Dr. Kevorkian's Deluxe Automated Suicide Machine 2. Hickory Farms Cologne 1. Lick Me - The Board Game Yeah people. Just buy a gift card. Don't die. ______________________________________________ -T 1.6 7:55pm-drew- Great response already from that interview, so we'll have more stuff like that soon. Since ew love music, here's a list of the stuff we're listening to now... The Darkness (greatest band of the past fifteen years) The White Stripes (hey Triumph, STFU) Matthew Good (hey Good Charlotte, here's some angst done right) The Streets (English guy rapping? ::joygasm::) Melt Banana (not so much music as much as it is noise that happens to sound like something good) The Trews (we shouldn't like it...but its just soooo good) That's all for today. Need to watch myself a new episode of the O.C. I mean, do something manly like fix a car. damn. Don't die. ______________________________________________ -M 1.5.04 10:11pm-drew- Yeah, cable modem=greatest thing EVER. Max is having computer trouble. Must love that Windows ME. Working on new stuff, new layouts, making it easier to update (for more frequent updates? only time will tell [yes]). To kick this off, THE EXCLUSIVE BLANK SPACE INTERVIEW WITH HILARY CLINTON I promised. New stuff tomorrow. Don't die. -W 12.24 7:31pm-drew- Hello there. Friday=greatest day ever. Yours truly is getting a cable modem. That means updates are gonna finally start around here. COMING SOON: BLANK SPACE'S EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH HILARY CLINTON. You actually read that right. In the mean time, here's a short list of names other than Blank Space that we considered. drew's Def Web Site Jamboree Bonehead at Computer Step One: Tell Jokes Step Two: ???? Step Three: Profit The Stolen Intellectual Property Site Senor Max's Fiesta del Cha-Cha -F 10.24 11:56pm-Max- Scott Baio, that cocksucker. Fascism died in 1945 assface and you go and bring it back. Consider this the first attack in my holy war. The first article on Scott Baio's shit is a well known story. Back in California where my parents owned a perfume store, Joey Lawrence comes in and buys his usual Cool Water. We sell it to him. And Scott Baio never even came to our store. Strike one Scotty. Scott Baio eats babies. Exclusive proof tomorrow! I'm not bullshitting with Mr Baio anymore. We need straight edge journalism to take him down. -F 10.3 9:43pm-drew- Coming Up in October Everyone liked it last month so I'm gonna do it again. Here's some important stuff coming up. October is National Sarcasm Month. Yeah. Right. October is National Family Sexual Education Month. This is a year-round observance in Alabama. Also, October is Healthy Lung Month so get out there and excercise those lungs. At everyone. This weekend is the World Beer Festival in Durham, N.C. We wish our Jewish friends a happy Yom Kippur (the sixth). California's government problems may end October 7. Or they may be beginning. Either way, Gray Davis, you have been terminated. Yeah that cliche will never get old. Opal Financial Group's Fixed Income Institutional Capital and Investing Summit kicks off in D.C... wait... Small Firms Conference & Exhibit in Ft. Lauderdale...uhh...new episode of Law and Order on the eigth. Quentin Tarantino's new movie is out on the tenth. BS will have more about that later. The 12th of October begins National School Lunch Week. Celebrate at home by making Tuna-Peach Stroganoff Luau Surprise at home. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to our Canadian friends on the 13. Also, we celebrate some guy discovering something in an ocean somewhere. I forget how it goes but I think there was a song about it. I have nothing to say about Holloween. Is that a trick or a treat? I'll let you decide. Seriously, don't die. -W 9.10 7:49pm- A Message From The Pancake Institute of America Fuck waffles. -M 9.8 10:49pm-drew-* Most people don't realize it, but they actually only filmed 38 episodes of Dharma and Greg. The rest of the episodes were just put together using clips from previous episodes. Since the show was so stupid and made such little sense, no one really noticed. Don't die. -S 9.6 7:34pm-drew- Forrest Gump is a sad, depressing, slow story of a mentally retarded guy. Its the same cliche of the retarded guy always saying and doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Want to see a good Tom Hanks film? Saving Private Ryan, Philadelphia, Apollo 13 and Big are all better choices then this. (Although Big used that "child becomes an adult" cliche that Disney seems to love, its just so good.) Don't die. -F 9.5 6:33pm-drew- Never tell anyone they should feel a certain way. That's negativity and you should feel ashamed for it!!! -T 9.2 2:25pm-drew- September: Update Month at Blank Space but so much more... Well its finally time for those fifty updates. This is number one. September is National Baby Safety Month and National Save The Tiger Month. Write letters to your local zoos if they still offer piggyback tiger rides. September is International Gay Square Dance Month. In celebration, The Village People will release their first country album, entitled Have You Heard the One About the Farmer's Son? Also, September is Be Kind to Writer's and Editor's Month. Be nice to us. We work hard. Sometimes. In addition, September is National Subliminal Advertising Month. I'll get back to writing as soon as I finish this delicious Pepsi Vanilla. OK, that was very good. September 24 iS Guinea-Bissau Independence Day. Its also the date of The Dynamic Facilitation Skills Seminar in Washington. It also is someone's birthday...I just can't remember whose...Oh well. Don't die. -S 8.16 1:40am-drew- Not the worst thing to happen to music EVER... Max and I have been talking and we seem to agree that Justin Timberlake is ok. No, he's not great but for a white boy he has some soul. We wouldn't buy his cd. We wouldn't even download his mp3s illegally. Maybe its just because we're comparing his stuff to NSYNC but I don't know. Later today we got lots of great stuff coming... super big random list of our likes and dislikes to replace the lists we got now and video game reviews from the new guy here, THE LORD. Don't die. -F 8.8 4:43pm-drew- I'm Al Sharpton. Welcome to Jackass. Al Sharpton says his campaign being hurt by racism. I think being a jackass may have something to do with it. -T 7.31 12:55pm-Max- So 50 wheres a bullet proof vest. But cant you shoot his head? Or his leg...a lot? Or his crotch? "Hey there's fitty! IMA CAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER!" "No G I gots the bulletproof cloths." "What's that on your head?" "I ain't got nothing on my head" BAM! Q: Why did 50 Cent get shot? A: I thought he was Tupac. And just as a bonus... Q: What has more brains then Kurt Cobain? A: The wall behind him. -T 7.31 12:52pm-drew- I saw Dave Chappel on a late night rerun of America's Funniest People on TBS. He wasn't funny in 1993 either. Don't die. -W 7.30 11:11pm-drew- Now that Madonna is advertising for Gap they have a whole new line with three types of jeans: pleated, flat front and crotchless. Don't die. -M 6.30 5:18am-Max- Cruel Joke Q: What was as fast as Aaliyah's rise to fame? A: Her plane on its way down. -F 6.27 10:46pm-drew- Not The Delicious Meat Flavored Treat So I was checking my e-Mail just now. I hate SPAM and I don't know why people continue to send me those stupid forwards. This is what those e-Mails should say... Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and the CEO of Starbucks have not decided to share their wealth. No matter how many people this e-Mail gets forwarded to, that little boy in Poland will not get his spleen transplant. Your penis will not be enlarged by eight inches by taking a pill once a week. Your dad will not be coming home from Calcutta. No one will call you fifteen minutes after you send this to 82 of your closest friends. Although possible, it is highly unlikely that any e-Mail from "Chris in Accounting" with the subject "This is very important" is actually important or from anyone you know. Unless there is a Chris in the accounting department at your company. If so, please disregard that. You will not become a millionaire by placing tiny classified ads in newspapers. Nothing will pop-up on your screen after you stand on your head and sing to this e-Mail with the exception of the blue screen of death. That's your computer's way of laughing at you. Now send this to 825 people within the next 37 seconds. Or don't. DAVE CHAPPEL: Not funny						band vs. band Max's Biographies It rhymes with really... as in this movie REALLY REALLY sucks Welcome to the new Carol Wright Gifts Max Rates Religions The How To Deal Diary Movie Review: Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle Soda Review: Pineapple Fanta



		(c) 2003 all rights reserved. last updated june 17, 1955. no animals were harmed during the creation of this web site. allergy alert: may contain nutmeg though we doubt it. return for refund where applicable. not recommended for people with sugar restricting diets or pregnant smokers. batteries might be included - good luck finding them. proud sponsors of the 1934 penguin olympics at mcmurdo sound, antarctica. may cause irritability, sleepiness or warts after prolonged use. contents under pressure. caffiene, msg and ddt added to preserve freshness. stop reading this. shake well before using. no user-servicable parts inside. not to be combined with other radiosotopes except under the advice of a physician. avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. i said stop reading this. the truth is out there. use no hooks. not intended for use by children under the age of five. printed on unrecycled dead trees and we're proud of it. not responsible for injury or fatality from misuse of product. all pictures were probably stolen from other sites.


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