To start off we have the Instant Door Screen. Lets air in. Keeps bugs out. It easily installs to the top of your door. It would be great if you were going on safari. Otherwise it really is pointless and inconvienent. Also ugly. At $9.99, you could get a real screen door for not that much more.

Now this is cool!!! Glow in the dark pepples to light up footpaths, gardens and walkways. Of course they don't show a picture so I wouldn't know if they really work. A set of 100 is just $4.99 so I guess even if they don't work you wouldn't lose much.

Some other stuff on these pages includes the Flex-A-Spout, patio furniture coversl, a home vasectomy kit, a mirror, hair remover, blood pressure monitor and a recliner cover. But those things aren't really that funny so I'll just go on.

There's some clothing for a couple of pages. Dresses, capri pants, a "romper", etc. All these clothes look like they are from 1952 when the company was founded and they first started sending out these catalogs.

On the same page with the Pasta Pot (a total rip-off by the way), I found the 3-in-1 Appliance Center. A griddle, toaster oven and coffee maker in one small machine. I'd like one for my room and for just $39.95 I actually can afford it.

Then there's fitted table cloths. I could afford those too. Of course they are so ugly and stupid I wouldn't buy them anyway. But I didn't know the horrors I was about to encounter.

I thought the animal cruelty problem had started to get better in this country. Then I turned to page 14. They call it a "Pet Trainer". Its a device that sends a terrible high pitched noise that only dogs can hear. It even has a drawing of how dogs will run away when they hear it to stop the pain of the terrible noise. YES MS. WRIGHT - YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED YOUR MAGAZINE IS SELLING THESE DEVICES DESIGNED TO HURT POOR DEFENSELESS ANIMALS!

Anyway, the next few pages are filled with stuff for the yard. Nothing interesting there. Also nothing interesting... How does this company stay in business? Who buys this???

Now I find some stuff people buy. 101 Love Positions video, Sex Education Videos (How To Please Him, How to Please Her, How to Please Your Neighbor With the Telescope and so on), breast enhancers, better sex videos, sexual enhancement creams and the entire collection of Hollywood's Hottest videos. They showcase all the nude scenes of your favorite actresses. You've seen the infomercials late at night on channel six.

There's bed spreads and pillow shams, air beds, furniture covers, electric scissors, drapes, 386 kinds of organizers, Totes Athletic Walking Shoes with spiffy Velcro closures, bunion supports, some "leather wallets" and an American flag jacket. Nothing really funny there either.

Moving on, well there's more boring crap. Wow. This wasn't as funny as I was hoping for. And I didn't think there was gonna be a big finale. But then I saw this...